Sunday, October 5, 2008
Lessons Learned
One of Alex's best friends was kicked off the soccer team last night because he had a drink at a friend's house before the big homecoming football game. Essex has a zero tolerance policy. His friend, Ben, is a one of the stars on the team and is (was?) being recruited by various colleges. Obviously, he is devastated and ashamed of the poor choice he made. Alex has been on the phone with him numerous times today, listening to him sob and Alex keeps calling him back to check on him, to support him and to tell him he knows what it feels like to hit rock bottom. It makes me realize that all of our kids now have a different level of sensitivity. They have felt pain or have seen us struggle through moments of sadness. They have also seen us rise up every day and conquer the world in our own small ways. Thoughout life they will carry that strength with them as part of their story. I reached out to Ben's mom as well. I told her that the only thing worse than going through a tough time is going through it alone. Then I thought of all three of you and smiled gratefully.
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2 comments:
It's tough to be that age. So many temptations and it always looks so easy to get away with things. I read about that horrible accident in Burlington last night involving young people and alcohol. I was afraid at the beginning of your post, that Alex knew people involved in that.
Karen, you wrote so beautifully about our kids' sensitivity that I'm only going to thank you for sharing your story and observations. I've been working in the yard and overseeing Kieran making pancakes. I'm not capable of adding anything to what you said other than my appreciation.
On another note: tomorrow I'm dusting off some poetry I wrote after teaching and before K2 were born and reading it for their class. Then the kids are going to illustrate the poem that they liked best. I did this a few times in NM and it was always fun to see what images come to their minds from my writing.
It's a blast to hang out in a classroom knowing that others are in charge and you can walk out whenever you're ready.
How awful for his friend! While I understand the need for the "zero tolerance" policy - let's be honest, with my wild youth, if someone hadn't cut me some slack somewhere, I may not have turned into the productive member of society I am today. I hope his parents get a lawyer and challenge the policy. Perhaps a more fitting punishment would have been extra practices where he was made to run until he threw up.
Unfortunately, we all want to protect our children from bad things, but learning hard lessons is part of life. I'm sure it is a lesson, albeit a harsh one, he won't soon forget.
I'm glad that Alex was able to be there for his friends. Tragic though it is, I think the loss of their fathers may have made our children better in a way that they are more compassionate to others.
Sorry, feel like I'm rambling. Having a rough day today - feeling like I'm the only one who misses Charlie. :-(
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